Arcanum

Where’s the boundary

 that separates our existence from

                                           the next?

Where’s that fine hairline

     between sagacity

                                and

                         confusion?

This border, I believe rests deep

            within our minds.

It’s the one that keeps us on the cool side of sane

and hardly ever shows its many masks.

                                                        (legion).

       It surfaces only when triggered or needed

to keep us from the shadowy jewels and the answers

that lay hidden

      behind the

                 I.

Caress its lyrical tongue of wisdom with your inquisitive own.

Master its mystery, the bedlam and natural born deceit.

Her recurring faces with her cantations & rhymes

show the path to tomorrow’s

                             silver dream.

Reach out to touch this dream

and you’ll find yourself lost in mystical union

                                                                             with

                                                              fantasy.

  

You will find yourself in a universe

with no boundaries.

1994

Victor Millan

Toothache in Church

How do I work-in the time when I was about 6 or seven years old and had a toothache on the right side of my mouth and that Sunday evening at church I kept complaining to my mom, who was sitting to my left, about my tooth but she kept telling me to be quiet and that church was almost over and to hold the pain until it was over. And she gave me that biting look that said I’m this close to pulling hairs and belting your ass. But I couldn’t hold the pain and I kept complaining until we had to stand up and walk out while the pastor was sermonizing and all the other good Christians were sitting down on their hard, wood pews paying attention to the word of God.

At one point on the drive home in the middle of being pissed off at me she confused me by angrily calling me El Diablo from her sanctimonious front seat. I don’t recall my dad saying a word.

And when we got home I got my ass exorcised w/a belt real good by my mom for making her leave early and embarrassing her in front of all of her hypocritical church friends.

Bunch ‘a creepy assholes.

10.16.2006

Victor Millan 

Ecclesiastical

When I work I meditate.

When I orgasm I feel holy.

When I eat I stimulate.

What I absorb I integrate

and when I die I’ll try to remember  .  .  .

to hold my breath

on the way

d

   o

  w

      n.

August 11, 1999

Victor Millan